Nirmala-Nataraj

Diary

June 18, 2023
Wild Living Sales Skit

Hi hun, it’s soooo great to see you. It’s been way too long! You look amazing. Seriously. I’m not just blowing sunshine up your ass. I remember what it was like to be a new mom. I barely had the energy to get up and shower. But you brushed your hair and everything. I’m impressed. […]

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April 28, 2023
Offer Your Gifts

Where you are is your garden. Plant the seeds that please you here. Draw your sense of purpose from the soil and trees, the rocks and clouds, the murmuring frogs and hopping squirrels. Do not leave yourself. If there is any genius that lives within the brittle net of your flesh, it is the porous […]

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April 21, 2023
I Hate the Love I Feel for You (after Rina Rocha)

I hate the love I feel for you Not because you don’t deserve it That much is evident from your prolonged absences And casual insertions of self Into the otherwise spacious parentheses of my day I hate the love I feel for you Because it’s a sign of my weakness I’m not talking feminine weakness […]

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April 17, 2023
Rationing

Wedges of white bread with the crusts torn off topped with sun-bright circles of cooled egg yolk often became my meager substitute for the heaping piles of meat that constituted any worthy feast at least in the books I read If I couldn’t have sausage or pastrami rippling with fat and the exertion of the […]

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April 14, 2023
The Witness

In my journey yesterday, I asked what I need to do in order to be more courageous. I saw three black birds fly in an isosceles triangle overhead. I noticed the word CUNEO mounted in fading capital letters atop an old brick building. I saw a small biracial girl dance along the street in her […]

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April 10, 2023
Tiny Dancer

There was a fantasy that would enact itself, constantly and clandestinely, in the back of my head at the age of 11 or so. Instead of setting foot in the girls’ locker room, to the accompaniment of brash pubescent voices and taunts—or the vast green field, which lay between crowds of stone-eyed middle schoolers and […]

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April 8, 2023
The Haunted Closet and the Bathroom

Transcribing a dream days after the fact is never an easy task. I remember only that this dream seemed important enough for me to recollect, except now it stretches and permutates, as if it’s trying to fit the changing landscape of my thoughts, which will never fail to prioritize new distractions. This dream is a […]

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April 4, 2023
My Akashic Record

To live in the New Age is to live in a devotion that hinges on self-deception. If you believe in the concept of a separate self, that is. ** So many things get lost when they fall through the sieve of memory. So many occurrences that were once notable, that required recollection but are now […]

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March 21, 2023
A Spell for the Evolution of Consciousness

The necessary ingredients: A cast-iron cauldron Fresh pure spring water heated in a cast-iron cauldron Bay leaves Cinnamon Myrrh Willow bark Dragon’s blood incense A lock of one’s hair The words “Once upon a time…” This spell is best done by the light of the waxing moon, within two days of the full moon.   […]

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March 10, 2023
Fear

Do I have to talk about fear?   I mean, really…that’s such a rude question. Naked in its directness. Maybe that’s why I felt the need to get up and search for my missing earring. I mean, I definitely had to charge up my computer, but the truth is, in the past hour or so, […]

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